When you get hit with an episode of depression or anxiety, it can feel sudden or unexpected. You may be at a loss of what to do with the feelings of lethargy or restlessness.
Anxiety and depression can be like two sides of the same coin. One can cause the other, and you may feel like you’re switching back and forth between the two as your body adjusts from worry to sadness. Both are often driven by negative thoughts. They tend to cycle into each other and feed off of each other, as when anxiety leads to isolation or withdrawal from relationships, which contributes to depression.
The next time that you face one of these unexpected experiences, try one of the 12 tips below to help you manage your negative mood and feel better
Get outside and take a walk.
Exercise is an easy way to let off excess energy or steam, to become motivated to face the day, or simply to enjoy a rush of endorphins. To get a double whammy, go outside for a walk or a run. Nature can ward off feelings of anxiety or stress. Yoga is another great exercise to release negative emotion, especially if you’ve experienced trauma. Watch a free yoga video specific to anxiety or depression and notice those negative emotions melting away.
2. Take a few deep breaths as you imagine a place that feels safe and calm to you.
When I work with clients who are dealing with anxiety, I often find that safety feels out of reach. For those with depression, feelings of happiness or contentment are difficult to come by. Take a few moments to imagine a place where you feel happy, content, and at peace. It may be imaginary or real. As you bring it to your mind, focus on the sensations and sounds, emotions, and images you see. You may practice this exercise while lying down on the ground and resting your hands on your stomach so that you can feel the rise and fall of your breath.
3. Reach out to a friend or family member.
Depression and anxiety are inherently isolating. Anxiety can lead to fear about social interactions, which causes withdrawal. Depression can come with lack of motivation to connect with the people you love. But often you’ll find that having a conversation with someone you care will be just what you need as they talk you down from the experience of a hard day.
4. Dream about your future.
One common aspect of depression is losing hope for the future, while anxiety leads you to worry about the worst possible outcome. You might feel discouraged that you aren’t living out the dreams you had when you were younger. Take a step back and identify activities that bring you joy, moments when you’ve felt truly alive, or the purpose you feel for your life. Identify one small step you can take toward that purpose that can help you gain a sense of ownership and control over your life.
5. Clear your space, mentally and physically.
I have a hard time when my space feels cluttered and overwhelmed. If my desk is covered in papers, my home is messy, or my bed is unmade, my mind feels cluttered as well. My physical space tends to represent my mental space. I take the mess as a reminder to spend 10-15 minutes tidying my physical space or writing down tasks to clear my mental space. I’m always surprised how much more productive this simple act of clearing can make my day.
6. Read.
Reading a book is a quiet, focused practice that allows you to slow down and focus on one task at a time. Find a book that focuses on a topic that interests you, a fictional story that you can get wrapped up in, or a memoir with an inspiring message of overcoming. If you find yourself having difficulty focusing or you’re not a big reader, find an audiobook to listen to instead. To keep the spirit of the quiet, focused practice with an audiobook, choose to focus just on listening rather than multitasking.
7. Listen to a good podcast.
I’ll admit – I’m a bit of a podcast obsessee. Just like a good book, there are so many options of what you can absorb and enjoy in the podcast world. Do you like true crime? There’s a podcast for you. Productivity? Humor? History? Travel? There’s whole categories devoted to these topics. Choose an interest from your dreams you listed earlier and dig deep into some of the top podcasts for each. You can also find great podcasts specifically devoted to depression and anxiety.
8. Say no to pressure.
A big component of anxiety is worry about the things we think we “should” be doing. When those “shoulds” become overwhelming, depression sets in as we realize we cannot be perfect. You have permission to set down that list of “shoulds” and allow yourself the space to breathe and take care of yourself. If you’re constantly under the weight of an endless to-do list, you will be less productive than you could be otherwise. Allow yourself space for self-care and return to your day with a clear mind.
9. Reframe your thinking.
Depression is characterized by negative thoughts about yourself, while worries tied to anxiety lead to catastrophic thinking. When you notice these negative thoughts entering your mind, pause and ask yourself if there’s another way of looking at the situation. See if you’re dealing with any cognitive distortions which run rampant in the anxious or depressed mind. If you’re fearing the worst possible outcome for a future event, avoid this pitfall by looking for the most realistic outcome.
10. Give yourself credit.
One of the common cognitive distortions involves ignoring the positive things that you do in favor of focusing on the negative. You might be angry at yourself for procrastinating on a project for work or forgetting an important form for your child. What you aren’t noticing are the positive accomplishments you’ve made that day. Particularly for those with depression and anxiety, even simple acts like getting out of bed or making a meal for yourself can be major accomplishments. Make a list of all the accomplishments you’ve made in a single day. Write down everything you can think of, even if it seems trivial.
11. Practice gratitude.
When you’re so focused on negative circumstances you’re facing on a daily basis, it can be difficult to remember the positive. Take some time to write down a list of 10 items for which you’re grateful. Gratitude has the effect of reducing depression and increasing a sense of optimism. It breaks the cycle of negative thinking about the past and future and refocuses you on the present moment.
12. Know that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
As you are plagued by the “shoulds” mentioned earlier, you might notice yourself continuing to spiral downward as you are hard on yourself for not feeling better. Anxiety and depression come in waves, and they can’t be controlled by simply forcing yourself to feel better. You might find that you try all the items on this list and realize that none of them has eliminated your anxiety and depression. This can further perpetuate the shame-based beliefs that there’s something wrong with you because you aren’t immediately feeling better. To stop this cycle, remind yourself that it is okay to feel what you’re feeling. Know that you can ride these feelings out and that you’ll eventually feel better.